Let's start from the beginning.

Hi. My name is Cindy. And this is my journal. It spans only a year. But lots happened in this short one year; some wishes were forgotten, others realized, and still more were created. Wishes lead us to places. I am not sure where my newest wish will lead me to. But wherever it is, I know I will always be able to look back here, read these entries, and remember where I started, from the beginning, where wishes were forgotten, others realized, and still more, were created.

Here's my newest wish:
to start from the beginning.

The rest.
You already know.

what, pray tell, is this sudden surge of neural transmitters that is crowding through my bloodstream, exerting such an euphoric effect on my mind and body as to make me thus ridiculously happy and optimistic, and flushing my face with such good humor and radiance which i have not felt since that dark and tearful night!?

they only come in spurts.


for now.

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself. Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

here be a good site on tudor england that ALL should see before watching the show aforementioned :) the biography and portrait galleries of the six wives are especially nice ^_^

*after seeing tonight's episode*
so now i can name the succession of kings starting from Henry III down to Richard III... that's special... but what about the queenies?? they were left out altogether! and tell the producers that william wallace deserved more than just a casual mention...braveheart fans everywhere demand that!

GAAAAH!!!!! WTF!!???!!! i missed last weekend's show!!! grrr..
why didn't i catch this until NOW?
well better now then never, i suppose...

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

not too impressed by the raaspbeerry phlavored vodka on rock tho. ice cubes mess up everything.

tequila shots are my friends too.

the mcat is my friend.

pods in order of preference. question mark denotes yet to find.


>> cantonese pod: ?

>> japanese pod: http://www.japanesepod101.com

>> spanish pod: ?

>> french pod: http://www.frenchpodclass.com

>> mandarine pod: http://www.chinesepod.com

BAM!

what do a white collar, a sushi chef, a construction worker and a farmer have in common?

this.

yes, now run along and go download that music video. chop chop.



♪♪♪

Tell me, Kurumi
What do you see looking at this city
How do I look to you now?

Tell me, Kurumi
When I start to hear the sarcasm in someone's kindness
What am I to do?

Remembering only the good times
though it makes me feel like I've aged a sum
But you gotta be one of the gears
trying to get turning
You can have only as much despair as you have hope.
but still, my heart trembles at the thought of the future
'what's going to happen?'
I try to imagine.

tell me, Kurumi
If time will eventually wash it all away
then life must be a simple affair.

tell me, Kurumi
since then I haven't cried once
but, neither have I had many good laughs

Somewhere I did up the buttons wrong,
by the time I notice, there's one button leftover
and similarly one button hole, in need of a button
If you find meaning in finding someone then fine
you can have only as many partings
as you do encounters
still my heart trembles at the thought of hope.
everytime I encounter a crossroads
I'll fret over which way to go but...

Eventhough I want more than I have now
I sing for an unchanging love
that's what makes the gears turn
with the burden of more than I need,
making a dull grinding sound
you can have only as much despair as you do hope
and still my heart trembles
at the thought of the future
"what's going to happen?"
let's imagine
you can have only as many partings
as you do encounters
and still my heart trembles at the thought of hope
guess there's no turning back,
so I'll go on, to a road without you.

♪♥♪


what do a chinese girl and a swiss canadian boy have in common?

only their past, present, and their love for each other.


i love you daniel.

uh...is she holding what i think she's holding? -_<;

follow the story here
or
here

am i a coward?
am i the kind that would thrive on an emotional edge or the kind that's quiet and peaceful who prefers to mind her own business and not give a damn about the rest of the world?

am i a selfish person?
is there such a thing as destiny or is it merely a little girl's fancy?
why can't i make up my mind about owning and having what is obviously mine?

tic toc tic toc

am i really me? or am i just a random concoction of all the people i've ever met?
can i forget if i chose to and tried really really hard?
why doesn't the past ever stay in the past?

am i changing?
will i still be as vain and as proud as i am now in another thirty years?
why am i so dishonest with myself?

i am sorry i ever gave a fuck what you thought.

where is home?
is there a home?
should i keep on looking?
i should keep on looking.

everytime i am expected to say something or act in a way that is more in accordance with my personal history and skin color, it just gets under my skin and makes me want to pound somebody's skull into the wall. hard.

but for right now, i can only do it in my head. it's freakin sad it is.

*beat*

don't expect me to stay brooding for long though!

now, off to find something to giggle at...
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/48743

so giggle with me damn it!

and if that doesn't work, there's always retail therapy, hehehehehe.... *starts giggling like mad*

mental note to self:

next time, tie sandals, expensive clothes bought at express, and other random shit down BEFORE deciding to flip the kayak over... TWICE.

oh, and broad river outpost owes me and daniel a bag of sand, a stick, AND a free rental (preferably with a paddle that actually won't break when it touches the water, yeah? =____=;)

i know what i was gonna write. but i don't think i have a reason to write it anymore.

em's here, this week and the next! so maybe before she leaves again we'll finally be able to go get somma dat cheese cakes together ^^ aaahMmmmmm...*drooooool* 8-3~~~

that...

and my alovera desperately needs sand. which i shall procure for it first thing on the morrow. how's that for flying off on a tangent!!! wheeeeeee!!!

redneck electrician alert...

"the difference between these two GFCI breakers is that they're two different brands, y'know, sort'f like bud light and coors light..."

Your Linguistic Profile::

65% General American English

15% Dixie

15% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

wait, that doesn't quite add up. guess they fergot the 5% fobby chinese-english...

Here be some bird paintings I asked Daniel to buy for me at a yard sale last month. I've finally finished repainting their frames. Their original framings all had a drab yellowish hue, which made the paintings look aged and vapid. In selecting the new colors, I chose to go with whatever color each of the male birds has, namely, red, black, and a mixture of navy and metallic blue.


The colors actually look much better than they do in the picture. My camera hasn't been spitting out the best quality pictures lately. Not sure what its deal is.

Five gothic lolita zombie girls.
rachelle (pronounced "rah-shell"), beth, annie, marie, penny.

precious, beautiful, deadly creatures. life-sized dolls. quiet, smiling dolls.
they've set their eyes on us. those wide eyes. cold, whispering eyes. hungry eyes. we refuse to give in to them. so now they're hunting us down. one at a time. who was next? i wasn't about to wait around to find out.
sharp stainless knives that will slice through anything. including the girls' arms. or so i thought. but that wasn't the case. the arms kept dangling, back and forth as she ran after me. i'm running backwards, and watching those half-severed limbs, those soft, milky white arms, dancing on the edge of the skin, swaying as we both ran. if one cut isn't enough. i'll just cut them again. and again. and again. but it's no use. they won't fall off. why won't they fall off!!!

there's a wound on my palm. one of the girls might have done it. am i infected? i heard that gregory house specializes in zombie bites and viral diseases. let's go to him for help. he will help us. for a man with a cane, how does he manage to walk so fast? "run after him and catch him!" i yelled. felt like my life depended on it. "go get a lab test done then", he told me calmly.

then, with parched, cracked, bleeding lips. i woke up.

i'm not a very good follower.

Nick was showing me the site design he was working on for Kortni's costume website and at some point we started talking about tables and vertical dividers. Since a graphic file of a vertical bar should be avoided for obvious reasons, Nick's been trying to look into other alternatives for creating such a vertical divider, so that the menu and the gallery thumbnails can be separated into two halves. I thought about it some more at dinner tonight and out of curiosity, looked it up to see what i'd find on the subject. While I was doing that, I jotted down some html for the divider and also listed out a few links to check back on later. I dunno tho. The divider still looks kinda shitty... But so far it's the thinnest I can get it to go...


read: http://www.articlesfactory.com/articles/web-design/how-to-insert-a-vertical-divider-line-into-your-web.html

OR

separate frames?
ex: http://www.xulplanet.com/tutorials/xultu/advmenu.html

blahblahblah

.

blahblahblah

	Column 1 Data		Column 2 Data		Column 3 Data

.

xml?
http://www.wepublishing.com/demo/

css style sheet? what's that exactly

problem solved. so, in keeping in line with the thought of something festive.. i have decided to wear my corset vest AND a kimono to the renaissance festival. the corset will be worn over the kimono, most likely, so as to bring focus to my waist and the big sleeves flanking the sides of the vest. :)

this is the kimono i am in the process of purchasing. i don't trust shopping on ebay very much, but it's the only place where i can find cheap kimonos (this one is 20 bucks including international shipping), so hopefully the seller will come through.

ah those good ol' days of being a part of that flowing critical mass at the intersections... such fond memories. i wonder whatever happened to that old bike i used to ride to school with, and if it's still at our beijing apartment, quietly rusting away in a corner.

wiki says:
The term "critical mass" was adopted from an observation made by American human powered vehicle and pedicab designer George Bliss while visiting China. He noted that in traffic in China, both motorists and bicyclists had an understood method of negotiating unsignalled intersections. Traffic would "bunch up" at these intersections until the back log reached a "critical mass" at which point that mass would move through the intersection. This description was related in the Ted White documentary Return of the Scorcher (1992) and subsequently adopted by the Critical Mass movement. The first San Francisco rides in 1992 were in fact titled Commute Clot, though this awkward moniker was changed quickly after the Ted White movie was shown. Of course, Critical Mass is also a reference to various social theories which posit that a social revolution is achievable after a certain critical mass of popular support is demonstrated. This reflects the often unsaid ambition of many ride participants that the balance of mobility in our cities will change towards bicycles or other modes of transport away from the private motor car.

this friday night 6-9PM, blast from the past. :) but i'm not sure if daniel will be back in time to go ride with me. i'll call him up tonight and ask.

hitherto i didn't realize LJ let its users link images under the bio section. ha! sweetnessss... :)

t e a r ♪ d r o p

Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Nine night of matter
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire of a confession
Fearless on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Stumbling a little
Stumbling a little

♪♪♪

and the shit just keeps on comin. (as well as the one-liner journal entries, of course.)